I think I may be having a midlife crisis…
…the only symptom appears to be in my nail varnish collection…
…is that weird…?
I have always loved doing my nails, I aim to do it weekly, but when I was pregnant I rather gave up. When my return to work approached I decided to start again. I didn’t really need any new polishes, I have a great selection of neutrals and “appropriate” office colours, but I was off work at the time so I decided to get a couple of new colours…that’s when it all went a bit pear shaped…
I seem to have acquired purple, coral, 3 shades of pink (one of them fluorescent – fashionable perhaps, if you’re not a 32 year old lawyer) green (GREEN?!)
Seriously, when did I think I was going to wear these? What on earth was I thinking…
*sigh* I suppose I can use them on my toes…people in the office don’t see my toes**
** that’s a lie, I frequently walk around barefoot in the office. It’s not appropriate and I get told off a lot. Perhaps I should just wear the green and then I’ll be known as “the one with the bad nail varnish” rather than “the one with smelly feet“.
On Monday 9 June 2014 I will be returning to work.
I have a lot of questions:
- What will it be like to get on a tube train for the first time since April 2013?
- How will I get into the building as I can’t find my ID card and can’t remember who to ask for?
- Will I still be able to do my job?
- What is my job…?
- What if I can’t log onto the computer?
- What if my clients don’t take me seriously because I haven’t worked for 14 months?
- Will I have time to finish my work before I leave (an hour earlier than I used to…and then some) at 5.15?
- Will the baby miss me?
- Will my SAHD husband become the favoured parent?
- What will we eat?
I need a good slap, hundreds of people return from maternity leave every month and presumably they all manage. We are in fact lucky in many ways that we have decided to try Jem staying at home with the Turk full time rather than having to juggle additional childcare. Although this is difficult in some respects it seems to be the best financial answer in the short term.
In terms of the Turk taking on a full time parenting role, there is absolutely no reason why this can’t work, my worries about this are:
- The Turk didn’t spend any time with Jem for the first 6 months of his life;
- I can count on one hand the number of occasions the Turk has got up in the night to settle our son (which will now become his role…hopefully);
- This morning Jem was choking on a deodorant lid whilst sat next to the Turk in bed…he didn’t notice;
- On two occasions after the Turk has put Jem into his high chair he “forgot” to strap him in and he fell out (…onto our tiled floor…the second time I caught him, the first I managed to lessen the impact but spilled a cup of tea over him in the process – no damage done but that’s not really the point);
- The Turk thinks it’s acceptable to take the baby around the supermarket in the bottom of the shopping trolley, I don’t agree;
- The Turk does NOT do routines;
- A couple of weeks ago I found the baby up 2 flights of stairs in a room we keep building materials in whilst the Turk was looking after him as I got ready…
Our Turklish family is about to undergo a huge change, and mummy is really not very prepared for it.
It’s really important that I “let go” and allow father and son to develop their own bond and have confidence that they will cope and find their own level…
…but that will be hard.