Snot and other delights of motherhood…

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Does it ever end?  No really, those who have older children, when does the snot stop? Admittedly Jem has had several colds, but also seems to get a runny nose when he is teething (read: constantly since 8 weeks).  Now I’ve read that teething can last until 2…does this mean he will be a snot monster until then??? Luckily he does love a tissue (although ideally in his mouth rather than up his nose) but pre-baby I always had a fear of children with snotty noses and used to wonder why their parents didn’t clear it up…now I understand. I expected the nappies to be pretty foul (my expectations have been met…) Our experiences of post weaning vomit have been pretty awful, but manageable (who knew I would be capable of breastfeeding a baby in the shower whilst trying to pick bits of dried sick out of his hair…it had been in there all night and he’d been rolling around in it…even typing this brings back the nausea…) I feel I dealt with the everlasting posseting very well, not even flinching as the baby threw up over my shoulder (…splattering onto the stairs) every time I took him back to bed after a night feed. These are all delights of motherhood that I was concerned I might not cope with, it turns out that you just don’t know until you try.

What to do…?

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Toilet roll;

Cat food;

Screws;

Phone chargers (or baby monitor chargers for that matter);

Chopsticks.

What do they all have in common?  Ah well the answer is simple, they all form part of the never ending list of things that my baby wants to eat, seems to be able to get hold of fairly easily, but probably shouldn’t be allowed to touch…

It”s a tricky one, of course I must keep the baby safe and if treated correctly none of these items cause a genuine danger BUT Jem doesn’t want to treat them correctly, he wants to eat them.  Whilst I admit that attempting to baby proof a semi-building site (yes over a year on there are still bits of plasterboard and screws lying around, damp patches etc but we do have all our walls and windows now 🙂 )  was never going to be easy it’s not the overtly dangerous items that he seems to be interested in (well ok he did make a beeline for the cordless drill the other day).  In fact his favourite thing at the moment is toilet roll.  Those parents amongst you will realise that whilst this seems to be a fairly easy thing to prevent once baby has made their mind up to get something there’s no dissuading them.  To deal with the constant dribble/snot there are many tissues or toilet rolls located throughout the house, but these I can often disguise behind cushions or under sofas just beyond the reach of baby arms.  What I can’t seem to prevent is the toilet roll which is actually (quite properly) placed in the toilet roll holder in the bathroom.  Since Jem started standing and coasting around these are no longer out of his reach and as he has to be taken with me to the bathroom (unless I want to deafen the neighbours by way of disgruntled baby) it’s difficult to stop him making a beeline directly for them.  Don’t get me wrong, when the Andrex puppy grabs the end of the roll and runs off with it I think it’s delightful…but this looses something in the translation when it’s baby dissecting the entire roll and leaving me with toilet paper snow all over…

More importantly I feel I could break this cycle if only I could see the attraction, why does he want to eat toilet paper anyway…surely my fishcakes are preferable…?