What’s with the white shorts…?

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Do you remember my blog post about pre-holiday clothes shopping?

What do you mean no…?

Ok so here it is, now go away, read it and come back…

done?

Right so, white shorts, super cute!  I did worry about the practicality of these but duly packed them away ready for our trip.  I decided against putting them on in the hotel, because I quickly discovered that Jem’s desire to crawl around constantly meant that pretty much everything got grubby, and as it was his best outfit I wanted to save it.

Consequently when we were going out with the family for our first Sunday at my inlaws I proudly put on his new outfit.  I remember what happens in Turkey when it comes to poo (read here if you don’t!) so I also packed a spare outfit (cue smug grin on my face).  Naturally we enter a shopping centre and just as I am checking out some serious jewellery potential purchases the Turk pulls a face…

We head off to a changing room, despite the shock that a man entering a changing room causes it was a necessary evil.  Jem detests nappy changes and lying on his back, it takes a minimum of 2 people to change a nappy if you want to avoid excrement spreadage…

Of course because of the curse of the poonami this isn’t any old poo…

…oh no…

This is a Turkish shopping centre poonami which has exploded all the way up the front (front!?) of the nappy and all over said white dungarees.

We change baby, he’s still cute, it’s fine.  As it happens I didn’t realise that my mother in law bleaches her laundry so white dungarees are returned to me stain free.

A few days later we are visiting distant family, it’s a big occasion so I decide to attempt the white shorts again.  The Turk and I negotiate a successful stinky nappy removal (no sign of poonami, well to be fair it wouldn’t be that inconvenient would it so why would it be a poonami) and feel particularly proud…

However, before we can renappy the boy something happens which hasn’t happened since Jem was tiny, he wees…

It misses the carpet…

It misses the walls…

But it doesn’t miss his white dungarees…

*sigh* cue outfit change once again.

 

I might steer clear of white dungarees in future…

 

Post-script:

I would love to show you a pic of him in the dungarees…but we don’t have one…

Poonami and adventures with water

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It is strange that prior to having a child it wouldn’t have occurred to me to speak to complete strangers about toilet habits, but that’s all changed…well in respect of the boy in any event.  The big saga of poo started at around 5 months when we took Jem to Turkey for 3 weeks (brave you say?…yes, I know!)  For some reason the boy decided that poo was no longer necessary, I was still exclusively bf at this point, so it was a bit strange, as bf mothers will know that breast milk can lead to rather a lot of poo.  Despite being freezing cold the entire time we were there (no I didn’t take a coat for either of us, but I did take a selection of t-shirts, vests and shorts…it’s Turkey, it’s supposed to be hot) we thought it might be dehydration so decided to try and feed him water.  Jem has never really taken to a bottle after a bout of bottle refusal at around 3 months so we resorted to warm water from a turkish tea glass, which worked pretty well in terms of drinking but had no effect on getting things moving.  Despite my intention not to start weaning until we returned to the UK I resorted to fresh figs.  These went down a treat…but still no movement.

Anyway naturally what I should have done was simply take him to an inconvenient location, literally seconds after sitting down to my kofte in a restaurant in a busy shopping centre the poonami arrived.  I’m not going to lie, it was not my finest moment.  The whole situation ended with me throwing his entire outfit in the bin, using up a whole bag of wet wipes as I frantically cleaned poo from legs, back and hands, and screaming for the Turk to come and help me out in the ladies room…

You’d think that this would teach me a lesson, but no…in the entire 3 weeks Jem only emptied himself 3 times while we were away…all 3 times we were in the same blooming shopping centre…

 

Post-script:

We recently returned to Turkey for another three weeks.  Jem only had one poonami.  It was in a shopping centre #motherhoodfail

Poonami the first

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Ah it happens to us all, that leaky nappy moment, doesn’t it…?

Well I thought it didn’t happen to me, I heard the stories about why you need to carry a change of clothes but I’d never had to break open my spare outfit and I was beginning to think it was all a bit unnecessary.

Wrong.

At around 4 months old we were enjoying a delightful NCT meet up in the park (I have a lovely NCT group if I haven’t already told you).  I was a bit wary it’s fair to say as it had been 4 days since the last poo, but nothing had prepared me.

In an attempt to settle a grizzling boy I was giving him a good old jiggle in my arms when I felt it explode.  My first thoughts were delight, finally he’s been, no need for a trip to the GP…I continued to jiggle…big mistake.

My previous experience was that, other than the curse of the mandatory nighttime leakage (always leak wee on the top left side just after you finally get the baby to sleep, for no apparent reason, tried loads of different nappies, never resolved this, only ever happens when you’re having a particularly fractious night) my choice of nappies could withhold any amount of poo.  This is true, my experience before and since is that even most high street store nappies can manage pretty much anything (again other than the curse of the mandatory nighttime leakage) but nothing can withstand the poonami.

For those not in the know a poonami is an unbelievable level of runny bf baby poo, which flows in a manner similar to a tsunami (hence the name) and will ruin anything it comes into contact with.  No nappy can contain the poonami, it will ruin the baby’s clothes…and your clothes…and possibly your buggy/changing bag/picnic blanket…

The feeling of helplessness as you watch the nappy literally explode with poo, sending rivers of the bright yellow stuff over everything in sight is truly one I have never experienced prior to having a baby.  On the upside I was in a park therefore the damage was limited…but be warned mummies.