Returning to work – the worries

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On Monday 9 June 2014 I will be returning to work.

I have a lot of questions:

  1. What will it be like to get on a tube train for the first time since April 2013?
  2. How will I get into the building as I can’t find my ID card and can’t remember who to ask for?
  3. Will I still be able to do my job?
  4. What is my job…?
  5. What if I can’t log onto the computer?
  6. What if my clients don’t take me seriously because I haven’t worked for 14 months?
  7. Will I have time to finish my work before I leave (an hour earlier than I used to…and then some) at 5.15?
  8. Will the baby miss me?
  9. Will my SAHD husband become the favoured parent?
  10. What will we eat?

I need a good slap, hundreds of people return from maternity leave every month and presumably they all manage.  We are in fact lucky in many ways that we have decided to try Jem staying at home with the Turk full time rather than having to juggle additional childcare.  Although this is difficult in some respects it seems to be the best financial answer in the short term.

In terms of the Turk taking on a full time parenting role, there is absolutely no reason why this can’t work, my worries about this are:

  • The Turk didn’t spend any time with Jem for the first 6 months of his life;
  • I can count on one hand the number of occasions the Turk has got up in the night to settle our son (which will now become his role…hopefully);
  • This morning Jem was choking on a deodorant lid  whilst sat next to the Turk in bed…he didn’t notice;
  • On two occasions after the Turk has put Jem into his high chair he “forgot” to strap him in and he fell out (…onto our tiled floor…the second time I caught him, the first I managed to lessen the impact but spilled a cup of tea over him in the process – no damage done but that’s not really the point);
  • The Turk thinks it’s acceptable to take the baby around the supermarket in the bottom of the shopping trolley, I don’t agree;
  • The Turk does NOT do routines;
  • A couple of weeks ago I found the baby up 2 flights of stairs in a room we keep building materials in whilst the Turk was looking after him as I got ready…

Our Turklish family is about to undergo a huge change, and mummy is really not very prepared for it.

It’s really important that I “let go” and allow father and son to develop their own bond and have confidence that they will cope and find their own level…

…but that will be hard.

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7 thoughts on “Returning to work – the worries

  1. Oh I feel for you, The Turk will adapt he will have to. When your not there he will have to be on the ball. It might not be the same why you would do things but you won’t get that anywhere. It’s great that his dad can look after him – I found it hard trusting a stranger to care for my children. The thought is always worse than the reality of returning to work – well after the first week or two anyway.

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    • Ah thank you, part of me is really excited to be getting back to “normal” but it’s a different type of normal I guess! I really do need to let go…I keep telling myself that I must make sure I don’t call home every hour. I’ll be keeping you updated on how I get on, I have a major plan in progress.

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  2. Oh I know it’s so hard, I will be returning to work soon and I’m dreading. Lovely for them to have bonding time. My husband would love the opportunity to do that. Hope it all works out for you and going back to work is too stressful! X

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    • Oh dear, it’s so difficult isn’t it. Yes we’re very lucky in many ways to have the chance for one of us to stay at home, and in all honesty I’m glad it’s not me, I don’t think I could take much more of being at home full time…but going back to work full time is the other extreme so it’s a bit tricky…*sigh* there must be an easier way. I’ll let you know how it goes and you must do the same!x

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      • Absolutely… My friend has asked me to write a post about returning to work with smile to cheer her up because she is in the same boat! Not sure I can think of it with a smile just yet!! X

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      • Aww you should definitely do it, it does help. I look forward to reading it too 🙂 Plus I now know that when I read it I will have been at work for nearly 10 weeks so I can feel proud of that milestone!

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